More Forking News

Okay, so I had fork issues (see below). So, I decided to go and actually buy some forks rather than just complain about the lack of suitable eating utensils. (Yeah, it’s a novel idea, especially for me. But I digress…) So, I stopped into my local Tesco store to grab a fork or two (and by ‘grab,’ I refer to the relative ease of which I anticipated the whole forking process to be). I found the proper aisle and even had a selection of styles. So, I chose a lovely pack of four Tesco Value forks for the very reasonable price of 93p. When I went to check out, I noticed an empty spot at the U-Scan (or whatever they’re called over here…you know what I mean, you do all the work and still pay the same price for everything). Since I had just my lovely forks and another item or, I figured it would be no problem and would be a fairly simple affair.

Upon swiping my fork package across the scanner, the machine started to protest. The message I got was, ‘This item requires store approval.’ Evidently, the local lads have started legitimately purchasing packages of Tesco Value forks and using them to maim and pillage across the countryside. Either that or there’s a glitch somewhere. One time, it said that my newspaper required store approval.

But, it appears that all it was all one big fork queue. (Yeah, I was just waiting to fit THAT one in!) Tonight when I went in to cook dinner (and by ‘cook,’ I refer to the act of removing outer wrapper, piercing film cover, microwaving 5 minutes, stirring, and plopping on a plate), I opened the drawer to find the film piercing tool (and by ‘film piercing tool,’ I mean ‘knife’) and, lo and behold, glory be, the drawer was full of shiny, new silverware of all description. (Okay, that’s technically not true. There’s not silverware of ALL description. For example, I don’t believe there are any marrow spoons or fish forks. But there are two types of forks and some knives. There are also some new spoons, too, but due to our overwhelming spoon glut, I didn’t wax lyrically about them.)

And, speaking of new things, we have several new plates (um…two, I think), some new small bowls (again, two, I believe), and a new gigantic bowl. Which isn’t bad, because, now that I think about it, we could use a new plate or two.

Oh, and a new kitchen floor. Funnily enough though, we weren’t really running low on kitchen floors.

Oh well, at least I can take all those new forks and use them to maim and pillage across the countryside. Or at least across a plate of chicken tikka masala.