A Fork…My Kingdom for a Fork

My next major purchase will be a fork. Yes, that’s right. A fork. That’s all I need, really. I mean, there are enough knives to go around here at the house, and goodness knows there are plenty of spoons. In fact, I could use a new spoon every day for a month and still not run out.

But it seems that our fork supply has dwindled to the point where, upon seeing another housemate enter the kitchen, I actually found myself saying, ‘I’ve got the fork…but I’m nearly finished with it.’

Oh yes. The fork. You see, we have but a single fork for the five of us. And that’s really not a forkin’ lot. (Oh, come on, like you didn’t see THAT one coming at least once.)

Being a maths teacher, I’ll do a few sums. (Note to purists…evidently over here, ‘sums’ can generally refer to any maths problems, not just adding.) One fork divided by five people leaves not even a single tine per person. Even toothpicks are superior at this point.

So that, readers, is why I shall soon be embarking upon a forkin’ shopping expedition. I don’t need many, just one. I mean, it’s about tine, don’t you think?