Another Joke
I heard this joke in our lower school assembly on Monday:
Once there was a bloke who got a job at the zoo. On his first day at work, the Head Zookeeper pointed the bloke towards the animal feed and said, ‘Go and feed the animals.’
Pushing his wheelbarrow towards the tanks of fish, he figured it would be a fairly simple job. He scooped up the fish food and began to feed the fish when out from the tank flew the fish and they landed on the dry land, flopping about, gasping for breath.
Startled and more than a bit worried, the bloke quickly gathered up the fish, threw them back into the tanks and began to feed them again. Once again, as soon as he began to feed the fish, out from the tank flew the fish and they landed on the dry land, flopping about, gasping for breath.
Once again, the bloke quickly gathered up the fish, threw them back into the tanks and began to feed them again. And, once again, as soon as he began to feed the fish, out from the tank flew the fish and they landed on the dry land, flopping about, gasping for breath.
Frustrated, the bloke didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t stand here all day gathering up fish and putting them back in the tank; he had animals to feed.
Suddenly, inspiration struck. ‘I’ll feed them to the lions!’ he thought. So, gathering up the fish one last time, he dumped them into the wheelbarrow, took them to the lion house, and threw them in.
Satisfied that problem was solved, the bloke moved on to feed the monkeys. He scooped up the monkey food and began to feed the monkeys when out from the cage jumped all the monkeys.
Startled, and once again, more than a little bit worried, the bloke quickly went around to the nearby trees, gathered all the monkeys, and managed to get them all back in the cage. As he began once more to feed the monkeys, out from the cage jumped all the monkeys.
He caught all the monkeys again, put them all back into the cage again, and started to feed them again. Once more, out from the cage jumped all the monkeys.
‘This is just crazy,’ the bloke said. ‘I’ll never finish my job this way.’
Again, inspiration struck. ‘I’ll feed them to the lions!’ he thought. So, catching the monkeys one last time, he dumped them into the wheelbarrow, took them to the lion house, and threw them in.
Satisfied that problem was solved, the bloke moved on to feed the bees. He scooped up the bee food and began to feed the bees when out from the hive flew all the bees.
Frantic, the bloke began swatting at the bees. He swatted here, he swatted there. In fact, he swatted quite a bit everywhere. Soon, there were no more bees to swat; they were all on the ground, smashed to bits.
Realizing that he had just swatted down each and every bee he was supposed to have been feeding, the bloke frantically searched for a way to hide his deed.
One more time, inspiration struck. ‘I’ll feed them to the lions!’ he thought. So, sweeping up the bees, he dumped them into the wheelbarrow, took them to the lion house, and threw them in.
Pleased that he had solved his problem, the bloke moved off to feed the giraffes. About this time, a new lion arrived in the lion house.
Walking up to the closest lion, the new lion said, ‘So, what’s it like around here?’
The other lion replied, ‘It’s great! In fact, just this morning, they’ve fed me fish, chimps, and mushy bees!’
(Yeah, yeah, I know…)
Once there was a bloke who got a job at the zoo. On his first day at work, the Head Zookeeper pointed the bloke towards the animal feed and said, ‘Go and feed the animals.’
Pushing his wheelbarrow towards the tanks of fish, he figured it would be a fairly simple job. He scooped up the fish food and began to feed the fish when out from the tank flew the fish and they landed on the dry land, flopping about, gasping for breath.
Startled and more than a bit worried, the bloke quickly gathered up the fish, threw them back into the tanks and began to feed them again. Once again, as soon as he began to feed the fish, out from the tank flew the fish and they landed on the dry land, flopping about, gasping for breath.
Once again, the bloke quickly gathered up the fish, threw them back into the tanks and began to feed them again. And, once again, as soon as he began to feed the fish, out from the tank flew the fish and they landed on the dry land, flopping about, gasping for breath.
Frustrated, the bloke didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t stand here all day gathering up fish and putting them back in the tank; he had animals to feed.
Suddenly, inspiration struck. ‘I’ll feed them to the lions!’ he thought. So, gathering up the fish one last time, he dumped them into the wheelbarrow, took them to the lion house, and threw them in.
Satisfied that problem was solved, the bloke moved on to feed the monkeys. He scooped up the monkey food and began to feed the monkeys when out from the cage jumped all the monkeys.
Startled, and once again, more than a little bit worried, the bloke quickly went around to the nearby trees, gathered all the monkeys, and managed to get them all back in the cage. As he began once more to feed the monkeys, out from the cage jumped all the monkeys.
He caught all the monkeys again, put them all back into the cage again, and started to feed them again. Once more, out from the cage jumped all the monkeys.
‘This is just crazy,’ the bloke said. ‘I’ll never finish my job this way.’
Again, inspiration struck. ‘I’ll feed them to the lions!’ he thought. So, catching the monkeys one last time, he dumped them into the wheelbarrow, took them to the lion house, and threw them in.
Satisfied that problem was solved, the bloke moved on to feed the bees. He scooped up the bee food and began to feed the bees when out from the hive flew all the bees.
Frantic, the bloke began swatting at the bees. He swatted here, he swatted there. In fact, he swatted quite a bit everywhere. Soon, there were no more bees to swat; they were all on the ground, smashed to bits.
Realizing that he had just swatted down each and every bee he was supposed to have been feeding, the bloke frantically searched for a way to hide his deed.
One more time, inspiration struck. ‘I’ll feed them to the lions!’ he thought. So, sweeping up the bees, he dumped them into the wheelbarrow, took them to the lion house, and threw them in.
Pleased that he had solved his problem, the bloke moved off to feed the giraffes. About this time, a new lion arrived in the lion house.
Walking up to the closest lion, the new lion said, ‘So, what’s it like around here?’
The other lion replied, ‘It’s great! In fact, just this morning, they’ve fed me fish, chimps, and mushy bees!’
(Yeah, yeah, I know…)
posted by Matthew Reames at 4/21/2005 07:35:00 AM
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