Friday, August 04, 2006

Things I Learned Today

I have learned several interesting things today.

1. Tony Blair appears to have (as The Times calls it) a "lucky tie". On the right is a (small) picture of the cover of today's Times with the tie.

2. The Bolshoi Ballet is at the Royal Opera House performing The Pharoah's Daughter. Ordinarily this wouldn't be too exciting. However, this production requires the use of a live horse. Evidently, last night the horse had a rather large meal before performing and "in the first act, the horse relieved itself on stage," syas spokesman Victor Hochhauser. "Fortunately the dancers were able to leap around it safely without any mishaps." Unfortunately, though, later in the performance, a performer dressed as a monkey unknowingly (to him) lost his rather large costume tail. The audience could "clearly see a part of his anatomy." The report doesn't say which part. I'm guessing elbow. (From the Evening Standard.)

3. Now you can boil your eggs without using any water. I'm not yolking! (sorry) Of course, I guess it's not technically boiling, now is it? The fine gentleman at EggXactly has developed this eggciting (sorry) new product that comes in a variety of styles. The eggcellent (sorry) single egg cooker is described thusly:

The single egg cooker is ideal for smaller households. To use it, open the top, place the egg on the lower element, close the lid, dial up the degree of hardness required. Push the cap to start cooking. Once the egg is cooked the
bezel on the cap will glow green.

  • Quicker than a pan and water.
  • Safer to use - no boiling water.
  • No pan to clean.
  • Doesn't lime up like an egg steamer.
  • Saves energy - only 30 Watts.
  • Small and neat looking.

4. The boy behind me at the embassy does not have nits. (And I'm not talking the fine pop group from Holland.) And I know this because his mother searched rather carefully just to be sure, right there in the line. But he used to have nits. Just not any more. And *itch* I, for one, *scratch* am truly thankful. (His mother may have found Neon Nits useful.)

5. Oreo cookies, heretofore not easily obtainable in England, are available in packages of six from the American Embassy passport office vending machine. I know this from the aforementioned previously-nit-infested-but-not-repeat-not-infested-anymore kid behind me in the line. Who did not share his Oreos with me.

So, obtaining Oreos is simple:
  1. Hop the train to Slough. Change at Slough to go to Paddington.
  2. Take the 436 or 36 or 23 or 7 bus to Marble Arch.
  3. Walk to the US Embassy.
  4. Pass through security (metal detector, x-ray machine, men with guns).
  5. Enter embassy, turn left, go up steps, enter passport office.
  6. Vending machine is on your left.

Although "Just picking up some Oreos" probably isn't going to satisfy the large folks at the entrance. You'd better be safe and pick up a few income tax forms while you're there.


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