Two phrases to fear

The next time you are at work and you hear these two phrases, you'd pobably be better off being somepace else.

Phrase 1: "Today's programme is fairly fluid." What this really means is, "Despite having several months to plan things for today, I haven't actually done anything."

Phrase 2: "I know we will work together to ensure success." What this really means is, "Despite the fact that I have made absolutely no plans for today, it is your fault is things go badly."